An Adventurous Life Will Make You A Better Friend

A short reflection on the benefits of doing lots of stuff

I’m often told I’m “good at talking to people.” That I have a gift for making others feel comfortable and being able to relate with them.

I’ll skip the false modesty and say that I agree—I am good at that. But I think this has much less to do with any innate qualities I possess, and much more to do with the wide variety of adventures and careers I’ve allowed myself to embark upon.

I recently helped out at a “feed the homeless” church breakfast event. About 15 of us showed up from my church, but only 10 were needed to actually run the buffet line and load up the plates—leaving me and a few others with the sole duty of being friends with these people.

The first person I spoke to was an old Asian lady. She wore a little pink cap, was probably close to 90 years old, and barely spoke English. But within seconds of me asking where she was from (I think it was China or South Korea) we had found common ground, as I’ve spent significant time in Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia, and for a while now have really wanted to visit both China and South Korea.

The second person I talked to was a shorter gentleman, who, sadly, had the look of past drug abuse about him. His conversational skills were fantastic though, and within minutes of getting to know him, we were chopping it up about drywall installation and all the little nuances that go along with it. He used to have a union job, very similar to the construction job I held for months to save up for my first backpacking trip.

Finally, I spoke for a long time with a hilarious, spunky old lady, who, with a totally straight face, politely requested we bring caviar for the next breakfast event. Somehow we ended up discussing the hygiene habits of people in various foreign countries—another thing I have intimate experience with. She also admonished me never to go to Hoag hospital.

This all got me thinking: I wouldn’t have been able to have such rich, meaningful, and widely varying conversations with these people if I hadn’t lived such a rich, meaningful, and widely varied life.

I actually do have a pretty crazy life story so far. From being a professional musician at age 12, to becoming a corporate accountant at age 20 only to quit and work at a ranch in Wyoming, to then working the aforementioned construction job for a few months to save up for my nine-month solo backpacking trip (during which I started a freelance writing gig and became a good runner), to moving to Africa for four months to volunteer at a nonprofit, to then moving back home, starting up again with a finance job, and most recently, growing this blog.

I say all this not to brag. None of the things I mentioned above are even that hard to do, besides maybe the musician part. No, I say it to bring home the point, which is this:

Do stuff. Lots of it.

Let your mind wander.

Feel that ache in your chest, and actually listen to it.

Read that book, go down that rabbit hole, travel to that country.

Live an interesting life.

Allow yourself to know and to be known.

Not only will it make you a better person—it will make you a better friend.